


Sburb/Sgrub Walkthrough

by Dark Automaton (0Dark_Automaton0)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Replay Value AU, Spoilers, Walkthrough Fic, You're Welcome, but certainly more helpful than a troupe of angry alien teenagers, less flowery than rose's prose, rated for language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-14 22:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4582332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0Dark_Automaton0/pseuds/Dark%20Automaton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A helpful little guide on how to survive a meteor apocalypse by playing the game that essentially started it, without all the flowery prose and angry alien teenagers.</p><p>Originally posted on FanFiction.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**SBURB/SGRUB Walthrough**

**Introductions**

I'll get to the point here and say what needs to be said: If you give the slightest damn about your planet, and it is not currently being ripped apart or bombarded with asteroids, **do not play this game!**

At the very least, print this walkthrough out, and store it somewhere safe so you can access it when you need it.

The point of this walkthrough is so that if such an event happens, and you get your hands/claws/pincers/etc on a copy or download of the SBURB or SGRUB Beta, you have an idea as to what to do. Now, first things first, getting into the Medium.

**Getting Into The Medium**

Step #1: After downloading the client application, make sure to prepare an object for your first prototyping. This can be just about anything, from a doll to a dead relative to an alternate timeline version of yourself. However, it is highly recommended that for the first prototyping, you choose something relatively weak, like a mundane pet or a stuffed animal. That way the enemies, and by extension the final bosses, will be easier to beat.

Step #2: When your server player downloads the server application, have them deploy the Cruxtruder. Then, have your server drop something heavy on top of the Cruxtruder's lid to release the Kernelsprite and start the countdown. The countdown shows how much time you have until a meteor crashes onto your current location, or some other dangerous thing happens, which basically makes the game go FUBAR if you don't hurry.

Step #3: Toss the chosen item into the Kernelsprite, and make sure your server player deploys the Totem Lathe and the Alchemiter. Then have them deploy the Pre-Punched Card.

Step #4: Grab a piece of Cruxite from the Cruxtruder and take it to the Totem Lathe. Insert the Cruxite into the space below the carving part of the Lathe, and insert the Pre-Punched Card into the slot. When the Totem is carved, take it immediately to the Alchemiter and activate it.

Step #5: The game has a habit of intentionally messing with you at this point, so don't dilly dally. A sort of construct, anything from a bird to a wine cabinet, will deploy something of which you must destroy or utilize. This object's destruction/use will bring you into the Medium.

**Building Up & Personal Quests** **  
**

One of the key goals for a server player is to build up the client's house, so that they may access the seven gates. However, in order to do so, the client must acquire Build Grist. In order to do _that_ , the client must kill Imps and various other monsters, as well as go through the quest the game designed specifically for them. The quests, from what I have discovered, are more to help the player grow as a person than to beat the game.

These quests also eventually have the client face their Denizen, a sort of Boss for the game. They guard a massive hoard of treasure, and are extremely powerful. They also correspond with the client's Aspect, which is part of the mythological role they are to master over the course of their personal quest. I will cover more on Mythological Roles later on.

Anyways, the second through sixth gates are, from what I have seen, meant to take you to the other worlds in your session. The first takes you to another part of your world, where you can presumably have an easier time meeting your Consorts, the funny little creatures that may help or hinder you on your quest depending on how you treat them.

Do remember to be careful around your Consorts. There have been cases where a player had the idea that this is a First-Person Shooter instead of a Sims/RPG Hybrid, and it made his time there a living hell. The creatures are not hostile unless you begin killing them, and if they act violent to you first, that's probably just their idea of being friendly.

The seventh gate takes you straight to your Denizen. Yeah, the last time someone decided to Alchemize a rocket-pack and zip immediately to that gate, they wound up with a very doomed timeline. And he also wound up very DEAD.

**The Machines**

There are a variety of machines the game has available for the server player to deploy into the client's environment, through the Phernalia Registry. There are more, but I will explain their use in another chapter. The ones underlined are the only ones completely necessary for the game, and the italicized ones cost actual Grist to build.

Cruxtruder: A sort of device that releases the Kernelsprite and reveals how much time the play has left before the area they're in gets destroyed. After the player enters the Medium, the Cruxtruder will provide the player with Cruxite Dowels, which are utilized by the Totem Lathe.

Totem Lathe: A device that carves Cruxite into Totems when a punched card is put in its slot. It is entirely possible to place two cards in at the same time to try and combine the items, but this can be a very trial and error process unless you understand coding.

Alchemiter: A platform-like device used to alchemize objects into existence, at the cost of Grist. It can be upgraded to fulfill more, but it will cost some Grist. To activate it, you must place a Totem onto the smaller platform, and let it scan. I would highly recommend some practice with the device and its functions, but I advise you to be careful and try not to expend too much Grist.

Pre-Punched Card: Not necessarily a machine, but deployable in the same manner as the others. This is required to get you into the Medium, and also helps you learn how to use the aforementioned Totem Lathe and Alchemiter.

_Punch Designix_ : The device that punches codes into Sylladex cards. Do be careful around it, though. Punching a card with the item still inside more or less destroys the item and renders the card unusable. The codes you need to punch in are on the back of the Sylladex card.

_Jumper Block Extension:_ This allows the Alchemiter to be upgraded(or downgraded) with the properties of whatever punched card is placed within. This is done by putting the card in the Punch Card Shunt, and then placing it onto the Jumper Block Extension. I highly suggest doing this with a Holopad, a Punch Designix, another Jumper Block Extention(saves space), an Enlarger(like the magnifying glass on a telescope), and a Totem Lathe.

_Holopad_ : Not entirely sure what this does, to be honest. I can only assume that this projects holograms, and functions purely to upgrade the Alchemiter. Feel free to experiment, though.

_Gristtorrent CD_ : Just a CD that comes with the Grist Torrent application. This allows you to give and take grist to and from your fellow players, as well as store any extra that may have overflowed your grist limit.

_Intellibeam Laserstation_ : A sort of microscope to help you see codes on the back of Sylladex cards. Some codes are impossible to see, like the ones for the client and server CDs, but this device is handy for getting a better look. However, there doesn't seem to be a code for pumpkins.

**Pre-Game Preparations**

Now that we got some of the more important beginner's stuff up and out of the way, I might as well give you some pointers if you're reading this before the game starts/The Reckoning begins.

1\. If you are human, ask your parents if you were adopted.

Most players are kind of pre-destined to play this game, and even born from it through Ectobiology. As such, if you were honest to god born from an actual womb or egg, you probably aren't going to survive the session. It's straight up part of the game; I'll explain it in another chapter.

2\. Prepare for possible funeral arrangements for any extraneous loved ones.

The only people who actually survive the game, in most accounts, are the players and the most badass of family. As such, pretty much everyone else is likely going to die. However, it is possible for people to avoid the asteroids during the Reckoning, and if they know their way around the desert, they should be relatively safe. If you suspect a session happening within the year, ask anyone you doubt are going to enter to set up a bunker with a lot of supplies.

3\. Get some combat training in.

You're going to need to learn how to fight, with and without weapons. You will need to allocate some kind of weapon to your Strife Specibus, which can be just about anything. However, when you put something into a blank Strife Specibus, you can't use it for anything besides the thing you already have in there. Thankfully, though, there is a shit ton of variety when it comes to Strife Specibi.

4\. If someone is messing with you over a chat client like Pesterchum or Trollian, there are chances that they might be aliens from another session contacting you.

If you are human, keep a close eye out for a typing quirk(like replacing letters with numbers or symbols) and an exaggerated importance to typing color. If you're a troll, keep an eye out for overly bright typing colors with seemingly no importance or quirk. Let it be known that there may be more alien species out there playing this game, so it would be best to keep an open mind. I will explain both to eachother at another time.

Normally, when an alien is contacting you, it may mean that either your session is tied to theirs, or they're the ones who made your universe through the game. If they're being dicks about it, keep your head and ask them to either leave or tell you what you did to piss them off. If they don't stop, try outsmarting them and confusing them until they decide to block you.

If you are the ones contacting the aliens, please don't be an asshole about it. Most intersession fuck-ups are caused by accident, and in a lot of cases, caused by the people who contact the aliens in the first place. If you want to try and help them, be straight-forward about it, and if they doubt your sincerity, send them a picture or video of yourself as proof.

5\. Clear out enough space to allow the devices to be deployed.

These things are huge, and you don't want a mess being made of your house. If you don't you don't want to waste grist expanding any rooms you have.


	2. Aliens

**SBURB/SGRUB Walkthrough**

**Aliens**

There are probably a shit ton of different aliens out there playing this game, but I will cover the two most well known species to date from each other's perspective, namely the trolls and the humans. And once they are introduced, I will try to explain a couple more less known species as well in a neutral manner.

The reason I'm doing this is so that if you are contacted through whatever chat client you use, you will be able to at the very least tell who's what, and how to avoid offending them accidentally.

**Trolls**

Physical Differences: Gray skin, naturally black hair(if otherwise, most certainly dyed), yellow claws/nails, naturally black lips, sharp teeth depending on caste, candy corn colored horns, orange/gold eyes with irises that are either gray if young or match their blood color, variety of different blood colors, and in certain cases, gills or butterfly wings.

Caste System: From lowest to highest, the caste of the trolls goes from dark red to green to fuchsia blood. The higher on the caste you go, the less people belonging to that caste. The Lowbloods(yellow, brown, and rust) are more prone to have psychic powers and are more psychically susceptible, while Highbloods(indigo, purple, and fuchsia) are like psychic brick walls and much more physically capable. The Middlebloods(green and teal) are more human-like in their psychic and physical abilities. The higher you go on the caste chain, the longer you live as well. Rusts can live anywhere between 30 to 50 years, and fuchsias are nigh immortal age-wise.

Reproductive System: Not all the details have been shown yet, but here's what I have. Two adults of any gender do some sort of mating, which apparently involves a bucket and a monstrous drone that kills you if you don't do so(only the latter is Alternia exclusive). The material inside the bucket is then transported to a Mother Grub, which apparently takes it and uses the genetic material to lay thousands upon thousands of eggs. When they hatch, a wriggler(or baby troll) will try to survive the trials set up to weed out the weak, and spin a cocoon on a stalagmite to pupate into a toddler-like troll. When that is done, the wiggler will be chosen by one of the underground monsters of Alternia/Beforus called a Lusus. The Lusus protects the troll and acts as a sort of visceral mentor, with the troll acting as a sort of zookeeper in return.

Planet and Culture: There are two known planets for the Trolls; Beforus and Alternia. Beforus is much like Earth, in the manner that they do not kill their own kind, but is just as flawed as Earth as well. Beforan trolls have a policy of being very condescending to those farther down on the hemocaste, as they call it, and treat their crippled and such like children. Alternian trolls, however, are often brutal and act outright vicious to those below them on the hemocaste, and are prone to killing their crippled and weak. The natural environment is harsh, with a very hot sun that can blind you as soon as you take a look, and undead creatures that roam about during the day(so they say, anyways).

Romance: Trolls have four different kinds of romance; Matespriteship(flushed/red <3), Moirallegience(pale <>), Kismessitude(black/caliginous <3<), and Auspisticeing(ashen c3<). Matespriteship is essentially the kind of love an idealized love is depicted, with kissing and kindness on both sides. Moiralleigence is when two people support one-another, keep eachother from going out of control, and cuddle. Kismessitude is essentially a rivalry with a certain level of respect, and does involve hatesex and hateful makeouts. Auspistices are a sort of mediator that keeps a rivalry from turning into an unstable Kismessitude. As a lot of these emotions are considered platonic in human eyes, it's not that difficult to be mistaken for flirting.

Typing: Trolls have a thing for typing in a very individualized manner. This often is utilized in the form of replacing letters with numbers or symbols, or messing around with capitalization. Sometimes, a troll will make puns based off of their interests and caste. This is most obvious with sea-dwelling trolls, who like to make fish and water puns. Trolls also have habit of typing in their blood color when they can.

**Humans**

Physical Differences: Pink to deep brown skin, no horns, white eyes with iris colors that do not match their blood at all, a variety of hair colors(straw, gold, rust/copper, brown, and black are all natural), clear blunted nails, only four total canine teeth, and consistently candy red blood.

Caste System: Varies between area, but normally centers around wealth and influence. Race, while not very straight forward, is often used for depicting superiority, but is not very dependable or justifiable. Popularity and contacts also play a big part. As such, all humans tend to live anywhere between 37 to 50 solar sweeps if healthy.

Reproductive System: Humans are mammals, and as such, reproduce in the same manner as any mammal on Alternia or Beforus. Because of that, humans tend to find pictures or representations of such things as mammalian genitalia offensive and gross, which tends to include most depictions of musclebeast art. Also because of this, humans are a bit hesitant to deal with same-sex relationships, as their cultures often disapprove of Matepriteships that cannot produce offspring. This is to the point that they actually have a word for it: homosexuality. As for raising, human adults raise their own offspring, and on occasion adopt orphaned children.

Planet and Culture: Earth is the sole known home of the human race. It is covered in 75 percent water, and as such, most societies on Earth are separated from eachother from sheer geological barriers. The result is a heavily multicultural species, which has yet to unite and send off into space. There is only one white moon, and the sun is forgiving enough to allow the humans to walk freely during the day and even take glances at it without permanent effects. As a common part of human culture, humans often try to fix their heavily injured or crippled, and come up with ways for the crippled to make themselves useful and adapt around their disabilities. Those that do so well are considered incredibly brave.

Romance: Humans do not have Quadrants, and often do not consider some quadrant-exclusive activities to be romantic at all. The realistic human romance is often a mix of all four quadrants, with the couple laughing, fighting, shooshing, teasing, mediating, and more together. A lot of the lesser pale activities, like asking about someone's problems, are considered friendly in human cultures. And on that note, stopping fights like an Auspistice is actually considered regular politeness, and most hateful relationships are purely platonic.

Typing: Humans do not type in any specific manner when they aren't trying to look cool or have a broken keyboard. They also tend to choose colors for their aesthetic value rather than anything to do with caste.

**Cherubs**

Physical Appearance: Generally humanoid/troll-like in skeletal structure. They have dark green skin, skeletal faces, very noticeable claws and fangs, some kind of swirling pattern on their cheekbones, and are typically bald. Their appearances change to include wings and full circles on their cheekbones upon maturity, and during their reproduction process, they turn into large celestial dragon-like creatures.

Caste System: They don't generally seem to communicate much with one another enough to build a real society. However, their blood does determine their moral alignment. Lime or bright green indicates a benign or good Cherub, whilst bright red blood means they're hostile. The easiest way to tell the difference is to look either at their eyes or their cheekbones, as these bear the blood color of them at that moment.

Reproductive System: Not much is known about it, except that when a mature Cherub finds another with the opposite alignment/blood and gender, they engage in some sort of incredibly violent mating duel. During this, they transform into these serpentine forms, and tend to cause a startling amount of damage. The loser, if they don't die, loses their territory to the winner, and flies off to lay the egg on an abandoned planet.

Planet and Culture: Being a celestial species, they have no individual planet of their own, but tend to take territories spanning galaxies. However, when they are young, they are more or less stuck to whatever rock they were born on. It should be known that Cherubs, prior to their maturation, have two personalities. One is evil, and one is good, and both regard eachother as the opposite gender. When one personality falls asleep, the other wakes up, and there seems to be no rest for the body. When they hit puberty, the Cherub's personalities have some sort of duel in the mind, and when the loser dies, the victor takes the prize of growing into a fully grown Cherub.

Romance: It seems the only type of romance Cherubs normally have is Kissmisetude. The traits that attract a Cherub to another are usually ones that remind them of their lost sibling, and thus, it probably isn't that strange to find a Cherub having strange thoughts about their sibling prior to maturation. However, green-blooded or good Cherubs are perfectly capable of having other types of romances as well. Do take note that the red-blooded Cherub that I have observed has considered pale and flushed gestures to be very "depraved" and pornographic, even when they are not so by Troll standards. This is probably the work of the red-blood Cherub's habit of being morally backwards.

Typing: They seem to differentiate between the different personalities by switching the capslock, and always capitalizing or lower casing one letter. They also often type in gray, unless they wish to change things up and type in their blood color, or the blood color of their fallen sibling.

**Carapacians(Dersites and Prospitians)**

Physical Appearance: Humanoid/Troll-like in shape. As their general nickname implies, they have a flexible carapace covering their bodies. They come in two colors, black and white, and their eyes, gums, and tongue tend to be the reverse color of their carapace. They tend to seemingly lack noses, and in many cases, their mouths are not visible when closed.

Caste System: The Carapacian caste system is heavily based off of the game of chess. The King and Queen are the highest and strongest, the Agents following after, and the Pawns are essentially foot-soldiers and peasants. The Queen stays on their planet to take care of the actual ruling, while the King leads the army on the Battlefield. The Arch-Agent is often tasked with the more tedious of paperwork, and rules directly beneath and answers to the Royalty. There are physical traits one can link to their caste. Higher caste members tend to be more "developed" in body and mind, with a generally taller height, five fingers, and a higher intelligence and maturity. Lower castes are a bit less so, often having four claws, a shorter height, and a more limited intelligence. However, the intelligence and maturity part can vary between individuals.

Reproductive System: Being a game-construct species, Carapacians are generally born through cloning in the Veil. They are often assigned bar-codes on their wrists as a result, but normally the Pawns have this. It is speculated that they are capable of some form of natural reproduction, since they are capable of relationships, but the process is unknown to me.

Planet and Culture: There are two planets in which the Carapacians live; Derse and Prospit. These two planets represent evil and good respectively, and are always at war with another. How long this has been going on is unknown, but probably since before you have installed the game(despite their being part of the game). The Prospitians, sadly, are doomed to fail, and it is up to the players to kill the Dersite royalty before the Black King destroys Skaia. Despite the usual mechanics of the game, it is not unheard of for Agents or even Pawns to rebel against the Dersite royalty without the player's help. This can be good or bad, depending on what the players prototyped.

Later in the game, both planets will begin sending their own people, known as Exiles, to the barren and long destroyed remains of the host planet. This is to repopulate and bring new life to the planet, as well as allow the more intelligent Exiles to act as spiritual guides to the players.

Romance: I have seen examples of Carapacians displaying flushed and black feelings before. The color of the carapace seems to matter as much to them as skin color does to humans. Do note that there have never been any recorded cases of Carapacians flirting with other sentient species like I have most certainly seen the past three do.

Typing: Carapacians do not use chat clients like the player species do. Instead, the Exiles tend to type into a terminal that telepathically sends messages to their targets. This can be both frustrating and helpful, depending on the Exile. The only way to really communicate back is usually by writing on a nearby wall or other surface.

**Leprechauns**

Physical Appearance: Humanoid/troll-like, completely green, lighter green eyes, and vary greatly in size and build. Their anatomy resembles Carapacian, probably due to both being SBURB/SGRUB game constructs. However, rather than carapaces, Leprechauns have skin that's soft like the surface of a billiards table.

Caste System: They don't really have one. Their main purpose in the game is to assist players in a dead session if they choose the conquer and destroy route. Each planet conquered and destroyed earns another Leprechaun minion with a different magical power. However, it is a bit of a struggle to get these guys to work together, as they usually aren't very bright.

Reproductive System: I know even less about this than I do about Trolls, but it has been confirmed that these guys reproduce homosexually. The process involves their very bizarre romance system, and the "mating jig" tends to be different depending on the relationship.

Planet and Culture: Whichever one their master decides to keep as a base for their operations, honestly. Leprechaun culture is highly centered on luck and mischief, so if you ever wind up employing them, you better be prepared for trouble. Because they only come up during dead sessions, the very sight of them can be a very bad omen. After that, organizing them and using their unique powers is the only way to finish the game.

Romance: They follow a system that involves nine charms, and only one seems to resemble any known romantic love known to the previous species. The rest are connected through a series of pranks, riddles, and games of chance. As for how this works, I'm not certain. I also doubt they, as game constructs, would harass any players with it, but I suggest that you be careful.

Typing: As far as I am aware, the Leprechauns do not use any form of typing equipment. Hell, I'd be surprised if they can read. But, if they do, I can only speculate that it will be in bright green.


	3. Important Characters

**SBURB/SGRUB Walkthrough**

**Important Characters**

Like in any other RPG-style game, this reality-bending one has NPCs. While they may be constructs of the game or otherwise strange, they are all sentient and tend to change over time throughout a session. I will mark down the "Constant" and "Variable" characters as such; Constant meaning that they are not influenced by the session, and Variable meaning that they are copy/pasted from session to session and are different from each one.

**Variable**

Black Queen: The Black Queen is one of the two final bosses of a session, but can be defeated non-lethally by destroying her ring and exiling her. However, this can have detrimental effects to the game, so it would be best to slay her anyways just to make sure. But, if she is wearing a hat with an (8) on it, you might be screwed.

Her role in her kingdom is to rule over the non-fighting masses of Derse, mainly paperwork and such. In general, BQs tend to be sultry, pessimistic to an extent, vain to an incredible fault, and act in a very femme fatale sort of way. If you have a frog on hand, prototyping it will make her a little easier to defeat, as Dersites have a very distinct hate for frogs.

Black King: The more final final boss, who you likely have to kill no matter what in order to win. Destroying his scepter will depower him in his fully prototyped form, so that should be your target in the final battle once he's distracted. BKs are known to rule over the army of Dersites on the Battlefield, and are often seen at the front of the charge. They are also the ones who summon the Reckoning to destroy Skaia during their final battle.

White Queen: The Queen of Prospit is very kindly to their people, as well as the players. Like the BQ, the WQ rules over the people of her world, but is much more gentle and kind. They are also in possession of a Ring of Power, but are doomed to either abdicate and exile or die on the Battlefield. If they exile, they can act as mentors to the players. When they do this, they tend to refer to the players by their title.

White King: The WK is much like his bride; kind to their people and have a tendency to abdicate and exile to avoid certain death. Like the BK, the WK also bears a Scepter of Power, but that doesn't help them win any. Like the WQ, they make for good Exile mentors, and refer to the players by their titles.

Jack Noir/Spades Slick: A Dersite, and the Arch-agent of Derse. He can be considered a glitch in the game, as his position and personality allow for a major change in how the game is won. However, if he is a good and exploitable glitch or a game-breaking one depends highly on what is prototyped. If you make sure not to prototype anything that looks particularly ridiculous, he will not snap and become the Sovereign Slayer. This would make him nigh impossible to kill, and probably fuck the game up irreversibly. Otherwise, he is often terrorized by the Black Queen, and will jump at the chance to take her down. And for the trolls out there, the relationship between Jack and the BQ can only be described as Kissmesitude.

The Midnight Crew: A group of Dersite Agents who work directly under Spades Slick, and probably count as his closest friends. Their names are Diamonds Droog, Hearts Boxcars, and Clubs Deuce. Their names can vary between sessions, but often keep the same initials(like most Carapacian names). To sum them up in a nutshell: DD is the smart and reasonable one, HB is a big brute who sometimes likes to pair up players, and CD is kind of a man-child. In some strange alternate universe, these guys play instruments in a band.

Wayward Vagabond: A mere pawn Dersite, but may or may not become one of the Exiles to contact a player during a session. In one session, as a lowly farmer, he nearly lead a revolt to victory against the Black King before the players even arrived. However, it failed due to the Sovereign Slayer's intervention. WV was broken by this, to some extent, and would later become the lovably eccentric exile I am familiar with. He can be easily identified by his very random requests and occasional rudeness.

Peregrine Mendicant: Another pawn Exile, albeit from Prospit. She was once a postal worker, but while trying to get a package delivered, got caught up in quite the mess. I consider her important due to her not only being one of the more intelligent and reasonable of Exiles, but also capable of using a Ring of Power and not abusing it. It would be best to keep her in reaching distance of one of the Rings of Power, just in case the Sovereign Slayer comes to be.

First Guardians: A First Guardian is a self-entitled guardian of the host planet they represent, and are in charge of making sure it fulfills its ultimate purpose. They are normally created through a mix of a player writing down a certain genetic code, and combining said code with a sort of animal or normally non-sentient construct(this has included puppets and cueballs). Just because they are guardians does not mean they will be helping your people; they are generally partially responsible for their destruction in order to fulfill their purpose. However, there have been cases in which a First Guardian has become protective of a mortal, and will do anything for this one person.

To tell if something is a First Guardian, the biggest sign is their complete whiteness, and apparent lack of a face. They also tend to be in possession of omnipotence or omniscience to their universe. First Guardians are always powered by the Green Sun, and thus, their auras tend to be green.

**Constant **

Andrew Hussie: The author of the Homestuck webcomic, and by extension, its god. In his own actual universe, he is a rather shy man with a quirky sense of humor, but his author avatar is the one I will be explaining here. This avatar is incredibly eccentric, has a habit of making manual changes to the plot as he wishes, has a strange fascination with horses(his real self just finds them inherently funny), and tends to be indirectly responsible for a lot of crap.

However, there isn't much one can do if they ever face him. He is literally God Tiered into "Waste of Space", and has been shown brutalizing a First Guardian with a mere broom. If you do meet him, you either got yourself into the Alpha timeline of his comic, or your in a very meta fanfic. Either way, you're probably screwed, and killing him doesn't really do much to save you.

Lord English: A world-destroying wingless Cherub hell bent on the destruction of everything. Yeah, if you are going to face him, you're probably screwed. However, if you think this will work, try shouting "Calliope" within hearing distance of him. If it does work, his other half, who is named Calliope, will emerge and stop him. His actual name is Caliborn, and he overcame his sister much too early for their own good, which stunted his growth and prevented him from growing wings.

He leads a group of Leprechauns called the Felt, and is probably trying to win his session by destroying everything.

The Horrorterrors: The eldritch gods hiding out in the Furthest Ring, and possibly some of the earliest players of the game. On Earth, they are subconsciously acknowledged by the humans in the form of Squiddles. These mysterious and mutated beings often speak to Derse dreamers, giving them advice that can range from helpful to dubious at best. They can teach a Derse dreamer dark magics, and can possess one to turn them Grimdark. You really don't want this, because it makes you speak a language that is probably painful to mortal ears, and gives you a lot less control over your actions.

On Alternia, there is an "emissary" of the Horrorterrors in the form of the royal lusus, Gl'bgolyb. Normally, during the Reckoning, she will speak the Vast Glub that will end the Troll race. Try to make sure that nobody is foolish enough to prototype her as their sprite, because it will make your lives a living hell when you face the enemies.


	4. Mythological Roles

**SBURB/SGRUB Walkthrough**

**Mythological Roles**

**What Are They?**

A player's Mythological Role is their essential title, which not only dictates how they will play, but also what part they will play in the newly-created universe after they win the game.

There are two parts to a person's Mythological Role: Their Class and their Aspect. A Class dictates how a player will control their Aspect, which in turn dictates what they control. Understanding one's MR is crucial to their understanding of not only their powers, but what significance they will have in the game.

For example: I myself am the Sylph of Mind.

A good portion of these are speculation, however. Very rarely is an Aspect or Class clearly defined, and more often then not, they will be more or less a riddle.

**Class **

There are fourteen known Classes to date, as well as some joke ones produced by the extra-dimensional being known only as Andrew Hussie. I have already explained him in the last chapter.

Heir: The Heir Class more or less "inherits" their Aspect, allowing free control over it, as well as the ability to literally become their Aspect. There really isn't much more to say, but the possibly best example of an Heir is the Heir of Breath, who could not only control the wind, but also become it at will after reaching God Tier.

Knight: A Knight has the ability to exploit and weaponize their Aspect. It isn't nearly as direct as the Prince, though.

Seer: A Seer has the ability to see into possible futures through their Aspect, as the title implies. However, it isn't always the most accurate ability, and their powers can be blocked by a Void player.

Witch: A Witch has the ability to manipulate their Aspect directly, and utilize it to help their teammates. They have been known to make up some of the most powerful of players, and tend to go very well with magic-based Strife Specibi.

Page: The Page starts out weak at first, but eventually builds up to become incredibly strong players by the end through hard work and determination. And to anyone who gets into God Tier and is upset about the Page's costume design, just pretend it was based off of Superman('cause it probably is).

Rogue: A Rogue can steal their Aspect from others and then use it to assist their friends. They are more or less the good counterpart of the Thief Class, although they are not necessarily evil.

Prince: A Prince is basically summed up as "one who destroys (Aspect), or destroys _with_ (Aspect)". This can either be incredibly good or incredibly bad, depending on the player and the Aspect.

Maid: A Maid is often said to be "made of (Aspect)", pardon the pun. They are comparable to Heirs, in that respect, but I wouldn't outright say they are distaff counterparts.

Mage: Not much is known so far, but they seem almost psychically sensitive to their Aspect. The Mage of Doom would hear the voices of the imminently deceased(aka doomed), and the Mage of Heart was a well-known matchmaker.

Sylph: A Sylph is often a healer, who heals through their Aspect or directly heals their Aspect itself. These types tend to ascend rather late in the game, but can be very useful as a sort of "White Mage". However, do not let this fool you into thinking a Sylph tame; one of the two I have observed became a rainbow drinker(troll vampire), and the other nearly ripped reality a new one.

Bard: A Bard essentially is a more passive version of the Prince. They instead _invite_ the destruction of their Aspect, or invite destruction _with_ their Aspect. They also tend to be rather eccentric, or troublemakers. Another thing, I'm pretty sure this is a male-exclusive Class, judging by the massive Cod piece on the outfit.

Thief: A Thief steals their Aspect from others in order to use it for themselves. A relatively selfish Class, no member of it has been confirmed to use its associated powers for much good.

Muse: This Class has only been known to belong to one person from a null session. I believe the purpose of a Muse is to inspire others to follow their advice, as a passive alternative to the Lord.

Lord: This Class is directly related to Lord English, and likely the reason he chose such a name in the first place. A Lord orders around minions with powers based off of their master's Aspect.

**Aspects**

Aspects are more or less like elements, but quite a bit more complicated. Again, there are twelve confirmed Aspects, as well as maybe two or three joke Aspects.

Breath: Basically wind and air in the literal sense, and possibly speech or understanding in the figurative sense. Breath players tend to be rather free-spirited, and optimistic.

Time: One of the essential Aspects. Time is basically what it says on the tin. Time players are responsible for completing loops in time and avoiding doomed timelines. They are also capable of summoning alternate selves from these aforementioned doomed timelines, in order to help them fight or complete necessary tasks to stabilize the current timeline. As a result of these activities, time does not flow the same to Time players.

Space: The second essential Aspect. Space players are responsible for the breeding of the Genesis Frog, which allows for the birth of the new universe, as well as stoking the Forge. The powers of a Space player includes the ability to manipulate the velocity of an object, as well as how much space it takes up(which can include shrinking it or making it bigger). Also, Space players have a tendency to wake up on Prospit long before the game, and see visions through the clouds of Skaia. As a result, they tend to know more then the others towards the beginning of the game.

Light: Light, in the context of this game, translates into Luck or Fortune. As such, a Light player can control how lucky they or others are, or find the most fortuitous path.

Hope: This Aspect is based purely on belief, and has quite a bit of potential if carefully utilized. One can literally Hope things into existence for a period of time, Hope machines into working, or produce bursts of hope in the form of blasts. Hope players are often very important to the team, if they are not one of the destructive classes.

Void: Literal nothingness. In order to master this Aspect, one must accept and then overcome the Void in order to pull power out of it. Void players are also impossible to be seen by a Seer or any omniscient beings, and are often impossible to be controlled with psychic powers as well.

Life: This generally extends to life force. Most life players, with the major exception of Thieves, have the ability to heal and give life.

Heart: More or less the soul of a person. The only powers for certain that I have seen in Heart players are either an affinity for matchmaking, or in the case of that one Prince, literally ripping out a person's soul. In theory, a Heart player should be able to manipulate the soul of a person, as well as master their own self.

Mind: Mind is the logical Aspect, and its players tend to have a sense of justice. As for its associated powers, I cannot be certain, besides intelligence and manipulation of others.

Rage: Rage players are capable of increasing their strength when they are angered. When I say this, I mean they get almost game-breakingly strong, to the point of causing massive damage to a twelve-times prototyped Black King. They are also capable of seeming to be harmless before they reach their powers, from the two examples I have seen.

Doom: Any future that doesn't involve very happy endings, a Doom player can probably detect it. Not much is known about this aspect, but its only relatively stable player kept getting voices calling from the imminently deceased.

Blood: Not much is known of this Aspect, but the two examples I have seen were very different in their powers. The Knight of Blood was able to forge connections with others, or blood bonds, while the Seer of Blood had manifested visions of a previous life after a Scratch.

**God Tier**

God Tier is essentially a state in which a player masters their mythological role, and gains a form of immortality. The easiest way to tell if someone has gone God Tier is to see if they are wearing a two or three colored outfit with the Aspect symbol of the player on them, and in the troll's case, a pair of butterfly/flutterbeast wings on their back.

The immortality I spoke of is conditional: A God Tiered person cannot die unless their death was either Just or Heroic. So unless you deserved it, or were being a hero, you can't die in this form. It is unknown if one can age as a God Tier, or if they will simply stop aging at a certain point.

There are two ways one can go God Tier:

1\. Die on your Quest Bed or Quest Cocoon while having a living Dream Self or otherwise living version of yourself.

2\. Die or be recently deceased on your Sacrificial Slab, if you don't have any other living selves.

Now, if you wish to go God Tier, death's involved either way. There's really nothing to be afraid of, besides dying slowly. If you are sure you can't go any further on your Echeladder, and need to go higher, prepare a gun or something that'll kill you quickly. If you're a Time player, you can see if you can get one of your doomed timeline selves to do the job.

Once ascended in the first variation, a God Tiered player will find themselves on the Battlefield, floating in a bit of a daze. If ascended in the second method, they will be fully awake and capable above the Sacrificial Slab. The first method also makes use of the living alternate self by assimilating them into the newly deceased player, which may or may not be the cause of the daze.

The Sacrificial Slabs can be found deep within the depths of Prospit and Derse, and I can only assume it only works for their respective players. The Quest Bed/Cocoons can be found on the player's planet, high up on a tower with their Aspect's glowing symbol floating above it.


	5. Ectobiology

**SBURB/SGRUB Walkthrough**

**Ectobiology**

Ectobiology is the study and process of utilizing the paradox ghosts of lifeforms in order to either: Create the lifeform in the first place before sending it back in time to become the lifeform copied, or to alter the genetic code of the slime in some way to create a new lifeform instead.

The process, when utilized outside of the main game, is often incredibly difficult to master. However, the game seems to be taking it easy on its players when making sure that they succeed in this at least, or else they fail to exist in the first place. Let me explain its two main uses in the game.

**Frog Breeding**

Not in the literal sense, don't worry. When a Space player is brought into the Medium, it is highly recommended that, as soon as they have the Grist, for their server player to place down the Ectobiology equipment to start early. It is supposed to be small, since you are basically cloning frogs here.

Be sure to have a good supply of water nearby, and make sure that there is a place where you can store the tadpoles in that is warm and safe.

This is probably the most important task for a Space player, as the breeding of the Genesis Frog is what creates the new universe for the players to rule over when the game is done. The Genesis Frog is quite literally a universe, and you can tell if you've created it if you wind up with a tadpole that looks as if it's made of stars, and is absolutely enormous.

The way to achieving this is more or less trial and error, however. One must target a specific frog on their planet, take note of their location coordinates, appearify their paradox slime ghost, and then later make sure to do something with that animal later on(such as catching them). Then, after repeating the process, one can combine frog's ghost slime to create offspring.

There are settings on the machine that allow for mutation, but it is a very delicate thing to use. Certain mutations are good, but if you aren't careful, it can go bad. As such, Frog Breeding is a very time consuming practice, but it is vital to the game's ending.

**Paradox Clones**

Remember when I told the humans of the audience that if they were born naturally, they probably wont survive the session? Well, this is why.

One member of the group, normally a leader of some sort, enters the Veil. That is, the ring of asteroids that line the Inciphisphere that rain down during the Reckoning. Anyways, inside one of the asteroids is a laboratory with some tanks(normally the same amount as the number of players) and an appearifyer.

On one of the screens, there should be the image of either one of the player's same-species guardian/ancestor, or the actual player. The leader presses a button, a ghost slime copy of the person is made, and they repeat the process with the other guardians/ancestors or players until all the tanks are full.

Then, the leader presses a different button that appearifies a bunch of Paradox Clones of whoever's genetics are in the tanks, before pressing another button and mixing the slime to create Offspring. They always manifest as infants of whatever species they belong to, and are quite literally the infant selves of the players.

After their "births" the Paradox Clones and the Offspring are placed upon transportation platforms, and sent to asteroids that will crash onto their homeplanet at different times in order to become the people they are destined to be.

As such, unless you're like the trolls in terms of reproduction, it can be quite the clusterfuck when you realize that you may have at least one ectosibling on your team. Or are your own grandparents. Yeah, it's a bit of a headache...

But a necessary one. One of the earliest fuck-ups in a session were caused because the equipment was broken and unusable, thus preventing the players from being "born" in the first place. So be sure to send someone who knows what the hell they're doing if you actually get to pick who goes and gives the bunch of you life.

If you're worrying about messing it up, don't. Like I said, the game takes it easy most of the time. Just do what looks right and you'll do fine.


	6. Player Politeness

**SBURB/SGRUB Walkthrough**

**Player Politeness**

Cooperation between team members is essential when dealing with a game that can kill you at almost any time. Infighting has caused plenty of horrid scenarios, and miscommunication is arguably even worse. As such, it is best that you do your best to straighten up your priorities, and try to let bygones be bygones.

**Problem #1.** Your server player(or whoever you wanted for a server player) deliberately sets you up for failure.

There is a difference between accidentally messing up when testing game mechanics and trying to kill/injure/annoy your client. Do remember that they should be the server of another player, and if that player dies, the chain will get all sorts of messed up. The end result tends to wind up with a dead session or doomed timeline.

So remember, this isn't some Sims house you can fuck up as you please, and if someone is screwing about your home, give their server player a call to stop their shenanigans.

**Problem #2.** Your leader, or whoever sort of counts as a leader, is setting up unstable rivalries and making everyone fight.

If this douche is setting everyone against eachother, they either want the session to fail, or they are doing a really shitty job of trying to toughen you guys up. Don't listen to them, and if they have some form of authority over you(like hemospectrum or sheer power), just spar until they leave you alone.

Practice with fighting more intelligent enemies may come in handy, but actually developing hatred within your own team can get someone killed.

**Proble** **m #3** **.** Now that you bunch are in one place, there are sloppy makeout sessions everywhere.

Since the game has a habit of picking newly pubescent children as its players, it's not unusual to see people getting involved in romance and such, even if it's mainly over the Internet.

If you're not a part of it, and think it's gross, try to ignore it and focus on your work. If you are having said sloppy makeouts and romantic shenanigans, avoid having more than one person out for your heart/Quadrant, and try to set aside time with your sweetheart/quadrant so you can finish the game. You'll have all the time in the world once your new universe is created.

**Problem #4.** There is a really weird impulse or voice telling you to do things that you otherwise would never do.

If so, you are either being mind-controlled by some sort of highblood Troll psionic or are being contacted by an Exile. If it's the former, fight it as hard as you can; chances are they're trying to kill you or are trying to fuck everything up. If it's the latter, you can either ignore the advice or take it depending on how good it may be.

Exiles are very versatile in intelligence, and as such, their advice's usefulness can vary greatly. If they tell you to prototype a frog or something minor like that, go right ahead, it might actually help. If they try setting you up with another player you don't necessarily like, or ask if you have an object they need, deny it and move on. You cannot send them objects or talk to them audibly, so the next best thing is to write on nearby walls or surfaces.

**Problem #5.** You pissed off another player that you need something from, and they now refuse to help you(or worse, are trying to kill you).

The answer to this problem is simple: APOLOGIZE YOU STUPID FUCK.

Sorry, my inner Cancer was getting the better of me. Anyways, if it's bad enough that they are actively trying to kill you or do something that may indirectly risk your life, swallow you pride and give a paragraph-length apology. Even if you don't mean a word of it, just do whatever it takes to get their assistance.

If they really are the ones in the wrong, such as they caused it in the first place or you have no control over it, point it out and contact someone who can deal with them better than you can. Otherwise, try and get whatever you need from someone more cooperative. This has been the case with cripples at least twice, so if you're being told to do something in spite of it, tell the person to kindly fuck off.

**Problem #6.** Some weirdo is typing threats and assorted mean comments at you.

Like I said in the first chapter, they're probably aliens from another session being dicks for no reason besides you may or may not have messed up theirs. Ignore them, block them, or troll back if necessary. If they seem shady, and want you to do things that make you uncomfortable, ignore them or see if you can contact one of their more influential friends to get them to leave you alone.

Also, if they say they're trying to toughen you up: DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM.

They're one of those idiots who think infighting and chaos is a good thing. See Problem #2 for more details.

**Problem #7.** You're trying to contact a future version of yourself or someone you know, but they are telling you nothing but "Password".

Don't take it personally, but they're probably trying to keep the communication timeline linear, or keep you from getting into any paradoxes. Such a system can be very effective, as long as you keep track of the password(try copy/pasting or writing it down so you don't forget). If you wish to implement a system like this, change the password for every conversation, so you don't wind up with any more time shenanigans.

**Problem #8.** You wish to warn everyone about an impending threat, but they won't believe you

If this is the case, take a photo of the incoming disaster, and tell them to get off their asses and help you. Or at the very least, tell them to prepare for any and every horrible scenario they can imagine(for example: the stoner of your group runs out of his drugs and goes on a murder spree). If evidence is your best friend here, then preparation might as well be your true love.

**Problem #9.** The past version of this traitorous douchenozzel starts talking to you, and you want to vent at them.

Don't do it. If they are ignorant as to what they have done, tell them exactly what happened and why. If they don't listen, their loss. Don't snap at them, don't beat them down; just politely ask them to leave the memo, before blocking them. You don't want to give their current self any more reason to go after you.

**Problem #10.** The _future_ version of this traitorous asshole starts talking to you, and they want to apologize.

Let them. As for whether or not you forgive them, that's up to you. The same can go for whether or not they're being genuine. If you want to test it out, ask them to meet your future self and give the apology personally if they can. If they say that this is the last time they'll talk to you, don't blow them off. This could easily be warning signs of a possible suicide, and while it's never been recorded before my eyes, it's best for both yours and everyone else's mental states that you make sure that no such thing happens.

Either way, don't be a total asshole about it, and focus on staying alive from whatever the current traitorous dick's doing now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you are wondering: Yes, I did take some pointers from that one "Player Etiquette" story on this site, but I expanded more upon the subjects given and included more interdimensional interactions. If this offends the author of the aforementioned story, I'm sorry.


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